The Second Eclectic

Technology changes how we relate to God and each other

Looking in from Outside

I have, to this point, not invited any friends to this site. I preferred the safety of the anonymity, or rather the opportunity for honesty. At least, in this anonymity, I can express myself as honestly as possible. Although, I think that my honesty is most restricted by how honest I'm willing to be with myself. It's funny, somehow I think that if I don't admit something, say it out loud or write it, that it doesn't have to be true. That somehow by admitting it that way, makes it worse. It makes me come face to face with myself, to see myself more clearly, and perhaps in a way that I do not want to see, or accept.

How is it that I can live inside this brain and body and still be a step away from myself? How can I remain in denial about the truths of who I am, what I say, believe, think, do. It's amazing to have such a self-concious capacity and the capacity to see myself objectively enough, to judge some part of myself by some external standard, to want to hide it. To want to not recognize the truth about myself.

I can step back from what I call "me" like a man would from a cave long enough to recognize it for what it is. The question is, what will I do with that sight?